I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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