can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
