I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
