we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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