I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
