those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
