Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
