So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
