what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
