New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
