thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
