RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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