Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
