32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Randomize
