Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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