sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
