This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
