it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize