sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize