When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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