She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
