If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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