I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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