To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
