Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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