well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
