I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
