Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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