Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
