You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
