so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
