Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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