Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
