I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
