So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
