We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
