dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
