I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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