Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
