New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
