Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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