just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
