Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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