It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
