Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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