they need to just BURY HIM!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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