That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
