oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
