I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
