me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The police scanner is talking about you again....
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
