I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize