I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I enjoy the company of your penis
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
