I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
