shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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