I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
