tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
