Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
