Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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