Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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