I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
