y did u give ur computer a hand job?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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