You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
