i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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