Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
