Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
