I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
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