the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
