he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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