Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
