So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
